Nadesico's Daughter The Ends
by Kit Spooner
Summary: The final, glorious resolution to the epic battle between good, evil, and leather hotpants. [complete] [please don't kill me]


Obligatory Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here. Also, this ain't your parents' CCS fanfic. It contains a distinct lack of cuteness. Rated for adult-topics. Kinda. It also contains mild profanity, discussion of sex, promiscuity, leather, groping, serious OOCness, and more weirdness than you can shake a stick at. If you are offended by this, then go get a life. Then come and tell me where you got it. ^_~   
  
  
  


**The End of Nadesico's Daughter: Death and Rebirth**   
  


**The Long-Awaited Final Chapter Of The Fic That Would Not Die**

by Kit Spooner

  
  
  
  


Daidouji Tomoyo was in a groove. 

"Hey boy, take a look at me," she sang loudly, swishing her hips in time to the beat. "Let me dirty up your mind . . . I'll strip away your hard veneer . . . And see what I can find." 

Tomoyo was busy slinking around her bedroom, stomping and jiving with the music of one of her favorite songs. Her voice wasn't quite suited to her rendition, but it was satisfying nonetheless. She was dressed to kill. Literally. 

"The queerest of the queer," she continued cheerfully. "The strangest of the strange." 

The usually demure Tomoyo had somehow produced a pair of skintight leather pants, and was now busily breaking them in with dance moves that would have made Li Syaoran pass out in a fountain of nasal blood. Hell, Tomoyo's current outfit probably would have knocked Sakura unconscious as well. 

"The coldest of the cool," sang Tomoyo, winking at herself in her full-length mirror. "The lamest of the lame." 

There was a furious pounding on the door to Tomoyo's bedroom. "Tomoyo-chan!" screamed Sonomi, barely audible over the pounding of the drums and the rumble of the bass. "Turn down that garbage!" she bellowed. 

"Yes, mother!" Tomoyo sang sweetly before turning up the volume of her stereo. The glass in Tomoyo's windows rattled dangerously. 

Sonomi, one-time heir to the Amamiya line of priestesses, finally gave up and just left, bolting for the relative safety of Kinomoto Fujitaka's house. 

Tomoyo winked at herself in the mirror again and carefully applied black lipstick to her mouth. It was a good thing Sonomi was so easily scared off. For one thing, it made it easier for Tomoyo to sneak out of the house. Secondly, Sonomi probably wouldn't have let Tomoyo out of her sight in all the black leather she was wearing. 

"The numbest of the dumb," Tomoyo continued to sing, blotting her lips carefully on a tissue. "I hate to see you here." 

As a finishing touch, Tomoyo slipped a silver hoop into her pierced nostril and pulled on her battered leather jacket. "You choke behind a smile," she sang. "A fake behind the fear." 

After checking to make sure that her brass knuckle was still tucked into it's little pocket in her jacket, and that her assortment of throwing knives were all stowed in their proper holsters, Tomoyo blew a kiss at the mirror and danced out of her room, still singing. 

"The queerest of the queer . . ."   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
The _gaki_ didn't stand a chance. 

A bolt of pure psi energy split the creature up the middle. It screamed as it erupted into a spray of black goo. 

Tomoyo came dashing up just in time to see the last of the _gaki _guts spray to the pavement. She shot the _gaki_'s killer a look of disappointment. "You could have waited for me, you know," she commented, looking faintly wounded. She walked over to the young warrior and pulled a package of baby wipes out of her jacket pocket. "Hold still, babe," she said firmly. "I'll get all that ichor off your face." 

Touya sighed and put up with Tomoyo's ministrations. "I never seem to remember to get out of the way when they explode," he complained, looking a little embarrassed. 

"That's why you should always wait until I get here," Tomoyo explained reasonably as she dabbed the last of the black goo off of Touya's face. "I always remember for you." 

"Yes, love," Touya replied obediently. He too was decked out in a black leather ensemble much like Tomoyo's and he wore a spiked collar around his neck. The silver spikes of the collar glittered, accenting the numerous silver hoops he wore in each ear. 

"Don't give me that 'yes, love' crap, Touya," Tomoyo said angrily. "I know you do this on purpose. Just because you happened to get your little psychic powers back, you think you're such hot stuff. What'll happen when you try to take on another _gaki_ on your own? What'll happen if your aim is off and I'm not here to hamstring the stupid brute before he guts you? What then?" 

Touya hung his head. "Sorry, Tomoyo," he mumbled. 

"That's better," Tomoyo murmured. She rose up on her tiptoes and pressed a less-than-chaste kiss on Touya's mouth, leaving a faint trace of black lipstick. "Now let's go and finish cleaning up the neighborhood. I hear Syaoran's over on the east side playing with a new nest of _gakis_ that he found. What do you say to helping the poor lad out?" 

Touya grinned, showing his white, white teeth. "That sounds wonderful, babe," he agreed before dipping Tomoyo back into a longer, rather messy kiss that she ended quite abruptly by stomping on Touya's foot. 

"Don't distract me, Touya," Tomoyo said primly. "Syaoran's likely to get his sorry ass killed if we don't show up soon." She grinned wickedly. "And besides, what would Yuki say if he caught you with one hand on my ass and the other up my shirt?" 

"He'd probably ask to join in," Touya replied with a blissful, slightly vacant smile on his face. It was quite obvious that he was contemplating the possibilities. 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, loverboy," Tomoyo ordered, pulling Touya's hand from the smooth curve of her leather-clad rear and tugging him eastward. "Let's go save your sister's little boytoy, ne?" 

"Yes, dear," Touya answered obediently. 

It took the leather-clad pair only a few minutes to sprint over to the park where Li Syaoran was busy hacking and slashing at a tangle of half-grown _gakis_. The boy's sword was dripping with black ichor, and he was breathing heavily. 

"Why . . . can't . . . you . . . just . . . DIE?!" he panted between thrusts of his sword. The young _gakis_ weren't quite as dangerous as the full-grown ones were, but they were quite a bit faster. 

Tomoyo and Touya watched from the bushes. "If he's not careful," Touya whispered to his partner, "He's gonna attract the momma _gaki_." 

"It's probably too late," Tomoyo whispered back. "I'd be willing to bet my leather that she's already on her way here." 

Touya threw Tomoyo a sly, measuring glance. "Your leather, eh? Too bad I'm too big to wear it. Giving me your leather won't do anything other than get you naked." He paused and looked Tomoyo up and down. "Then again, maybe I should take you up on your offer . . ." He walked his fingers suggestively up her thigh. 

"Never mind, Touya," Tomoyo murmured. "Let's go help the boy out with his playmates." 

It had always been a challenge for Touya and Tomoyo to fight _gakis_ without alerting Li Syaoran of their presence. The boy was having a difficult enough time without having to contemplate the fact that Touya was really a psychic warrior and Tomoyo was essentially a thug. So, from the cover of the bushes, Touya and Tomoyo fought. 

Touya's methods were fairly simple. He used more psychic strikes to carefully wear down the young _gakis_. This helped Syaoran dispatch the creatures, and slowed them enough that Tomoyo could take several down with precisely thrown knives. Touya hadn't ever asked where Tomoyo had learned to throw knives, and wasn't sure he really wanted to know. He didn't care to risk her displeasure. 

All too soon, the fight was over. As usual, Syaoran didn't seem to notice the aid of the two people in the bushes, and thanks to the combination of twilight, dark leather, and psychic shielding, he hadn't spotted them either. Exhausted, but thoroughly pleased with himself, Syaoran wandered off towards his apartment, dripping goo behind him. 

"_Now_ can we go home and play?" Touya asked plaintively. 

Tomoyo paused and gave him a sultry smile as she reached out, tucked her fingers into the waistband of his leather pants, and pulled his hips hard against hers. "Hmm, perhaps we ought to go find Yuki, as you suggested earlier . . ."   
  


* * *

  
  
"But dearest!" Fujitaka was losing yet another argument with his dead wife. All it took was one smile from Nadesico and all his careful plans were undone. 

"Darling, you know I'm right," Nadesico replied sweetly, hovering slightly above the chair across the table from her husband. The fact that she was dead changed almost nothing. She still held her husband in the palm of her dainty little hand. "Sakura-chan's sixteen now, and she's plenty old enough to deal with her power." 

"But she's so . . . so . . ." Fujitaka searched for an appropriate descriptor. "So petite!" he finally exclaimed. 

Nadesico gave him a long, steady look. "You can't be serious, love," she told him. 

Fujitaka looked suitably embarrassed. 

"Anyway, it's time we had our family council of war," Nadesico continued, her hair fanning out behind her, waving in a phantom breeze. "Make sure our hormonal son and his lover are here this evening, and you should also invite the Chinese boy and that little punk girl that hangs out with Sakura and Touya." 

"Punk girl?" Fujitaka was once again confused. 

"Sonomi's daughter," Nadesico elaborated. 

"Punk girl?!" Fujitaka echoed in disbelief. 

Nadesico rolled her eyes. 

Then a frantic pounding came from the front door, and Fujitaka was obliged to go see who it was. Upon opening the door, he was faced with a wild-eyed Sonomi, who immediately flung herself into his arms. 

"Fujitaka!" she wailed. "Tomoyo's finally stopped listening to me! I asked her to turn down her music, but she defied me again. What am I supposed to do?!" She began to sob dramatically into Fujitaka's chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. 

Nadesico cleared her throat from where she floated in the hallway. 

Sonomi blinked her eyes open and peered over Fujitaka's shoulder. She leapt out of Fujitaka's reluctant embrace with astounishing speed. "Nadesico-chan! I didn't see you there!" she said, dashing tears from her eyes. 

"Apparently," Nadesico replied drily. 

Sonomi, Fujitaka, and his dead wife convened back in the kitchen. Then Nadesico attempted to explain to Sonomi exactly what had been happening with Tomoyo. 

"You make it sound as though my sweet little Tomoyo is some sort of gangster!" Sonomi protested after listening to Nadesico's little speech. 

"Well, she sort of is." Nadesico admitted. 

"You don't need to be so blunt about it, dearest," Fujitaka urged the ghost of his wife, looking at Sonomi's furious expression. 

"Hush," Nadesico murmured absently. 

"Yes, my love," Fujitaka replied. 

"My daughter is a paragon of virtue, Nadesico!" Sonomi exclaimed loudly, working her way up to a full-blown rant. "She's an excellent student, keeps her room clean, has genteel hobbies, and has an excellent fashion sense!" 

"She's a thug, Sonomi," Nadesico said gently. "Have you seen all of the black leather in her closet? I guess you missed all of her knives, since she keeps them stashed in her underwear drawer. Did you not notice all those piercings she has in her ears, nose, eyebrow, and navel? She has at least four tattoos that I know of." 

"What?!" shrieked Sonomi. "Where does she have tattoos?" 

"There's a coiled snake on the back of her left shoulder, a ring of skulls around her navel, a red pentagram on her hip, and a naked woman on the inside of her thigh," replied Nadesico automatically. 

"How on earth do you know that?" Fujitaka asked curiously. 

"Touya told me," Nadesico said with a faint smile. 

"How did Touya know?!" bellowed both Sonomi and Fujitaka, in unison. 

Nadesico began to laugh, eyes crinkling with mischief. "Hmm, maybe I'd better start at the beginning . . ." 

Ten minutes later, Sonomi fainted. Fujitaka, for his part, was white as a sheet. 

"There are some smelling salts up in the medicine cabinet," Nadesico told her husband pointedly, hovering over her unconscious cousin. 

It took a moment before Fujitaka could speak. "I'm still trying to absorb all of this. Could you run and get them instead, love?" he asked plaintively. 

"I would dear," Nadesico replied gently. "But it's just not a possibility at the moment." She waved her insubstantial hand through the couch a few times to prove her point. 

"Oh, yeah," Fujitaka murmured before retrieving the salts. 

Sonomi awoke with a shrill scream, but quickly composed herself. "I fainted?" she asked weakly. 

Nadesico and Fujitaka nodded. 

Sonomi sighed. "If you weren't already dead, Nadesico-chan," she told her ghostly cousin, "I think I'd strangle you. Why have you been keeping secrets from us?" 

"Every woman needs her little secrets," Nadesico replied sweetly. "This time, however, I was protecting our children." 

"I think I should have been told when my little girl starting sleeping with your playboy son!" Sonomi exclaimed hotly. 

"Me too!" said Fujitaka. 

"But they were having so much fun," Nadesico protested faintly. 

Sonomi and Fujitaka glared, but Nadesico only giggled back at them. 

"Anyway, we need to call the whole family together tonight." Nadesico tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I think this evening would be a good time to finish all of this nonsense. Fujitaka, darling, I want you to call everyone and tell them to be here at seven tonight." 

"What do you want me to do?" Sonomi asked worriedly. 

Nadesico floated over to where her cousin was seated, wringing her hands. Nadesico reached a faintly glowing hand out to brush Sonomi's cheek. "Sonomi, beloved, I want you to do something very important." 

"What's that?" Sonomi asked breathlessly. 

"Calm down."   
  


* * *

  
  
Kerberos was furious as he listened through his favorite peephole. After all his years of faithful service, they hadn't even mentioned him when planning their little party. 

_It's all that imbecilic Fujitaka's fault_, Kerberos thought, grinding his teeth in irritation. _He lets that dumb broad Nadesico boss him around. And her old hag of a cousin, too._

Kerberos paced up and down the padded arm of the overstuffed armchair he was listening from. They were inviting everyone, even that little git Tomoyo, over this evening. Tomoyo was about as magical as a brick. Kerberos was one of Clow Reed's honored guardians; he practically glowed with magical power, even to the untrained eye. And he wasn't invited. 

"How _dare_ they forget about me?" he hissed aloud, startling a mouse that had paused to watch him pace. 

Kerberos snapped his wings sharply and then hissed at the mouse, sending her scurrying for cover. Then Kerberos smiled to himself. "Well, if they forgot to invite me, then that's their problem. Perhaps 'Kero-chan' ought to pay a visit tonight . . ." 

The mouse cowered from her vantage point behind the dusty Book of Clow.   
  


* * *

  
  
The first phone call wasn't so bad. 

Li Syaoran picked up on the third ring, accepted Fujitaka's invitation to dinner, and then hung up. 

_Great,_ thought Fujitaka in satisfaction. _Now for Touya and Yukito._

The phone at Touya's apartment picked up on the eighth ring. 

"What is it?!" snarled Touya, sounding rather out of breath. 

Fujitaka, taken aback, could only say, "Touya-kun? It's your father . . ." 

In the background, Fujitaka caught the sound of two other voices talking quietly. He heard Touya tell them to be quiet, then return to the phone. "Yeah, Dad?" 

"Your mother and I are calling a meeting tonight at our house," Fujitaka summarized. "It's important, son. And bring Yukito with you." 

Fujitaka heard a high-pitched giggle from Touya's end. "Who was that?" he asked curiously. 

"Yuki?" Touya temporized. 

"That was a girl, Touya," Fujitaka noted. 

"Oh," said Touya. "Hmm." 

Then, very clearly, Fujitaka heard a familiar female voice shriek with laughter and say, "Stop it, Yuki! Touya's father's going to hear us!" 

Yukito mumbled something incoherent in the background. Fujitaka thought he heard the bespectacled boy mention 'Tomoyo' and 'handcuffs' together in the same sentence. His mind skittered away from the dreadful possibilities. 

"We'll be there tonight," Touya said quickly. "What time?" 

"Seven," Fujitaka replied. 

"Okay," said Touya. "Gotta go." 

There was another long string of giggles, a loud thud, and then Touya hung up the phone. 

"What was that all about?" asked Sonomi, who was still sitting across the table from Fujitaka. 

Fujitaka blinked. "I'm not sure, but I don't think we really need to call your daughter." 

Sonomi fainted again.   
  


* * *

  
  
The sun eventually set, and people began to arrive at the Kinomoto residence. Sonomi was still in a state of shock, so she let Fujitaka usher their guests in while she lounged on the sofa, the smelling salts close at hand. Li Syaoran was his usual surly self, and as the first to arrive, he won the dubious honor of keeping Sonomi company for about twenty minutes. Neither spoke. 

Then Tomoyo arrived, her right arm around Touya's waist, her left around Yukito's. Her face was flushed, but she looked extremely pleased with herself. Both Touya and Yukito looked tired, but similarly content. The three of them collapsed in a tangle of arms and legs onto the loveseat opposite Sonomi's sofa. Then Fujitaka returned and Nadesico materialized above the coffee table. 

"Now that you're all gathered here," Nadesico began, her tone formal. "We might as well begin. I assume you all know why I called this meeting, right?" 

Everyone except for Sonomi nodded. Sonomi's eyes were a little glazed and it was uncertain as to whether she was entirely conscious or not. 

"Sakura-chan is sixteen and it's time for her to take up her power," Nadesico finished. 

"She's not ready!" Syaoran exclaimed, rising from his armchair. 

"Yes, she is," Tomoyo countered primly. She had her legs draped over Yukito's and her head cushioned on Touya's shoulder. Sonomi was keeping her gaze carefully averted. 

"And how do you know, Daidouji?" Syaoran demanded hotly. "You're not a mage!" 

"You can't keep her a child forever, Li-kun," Tomoyo said seriously. "You have to let her grow up." 

"Shut up," Syaoran muttered before falling silent himself. 

"Tomoyo-chan's right," Yukito said with a vague smile. Touya nodded in agreement. 

"Of course she's right," Nadesico agreed. "She's twice as smart as Li-kun ever will be, but her lack of magic does make her less than useful in the upcoming un-sealing." Nadesico paused, thinking for a moment. "Tomoyo, I don't suppose I could get you to go upstairs and fetch Sakura-chan, could I?" 

"Certainly, Nadesico-san," Tomoyo replied politely, disentangling herself from Touya and Yukito and disappearing up the stairs. 

By the time Tomoyo had dragged a thoroughly confused Sakura down the stairs, the other members of the little party had all assembled themselves in a semi-circle. 

"What's going on?" Sakura asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Tomoyo had awakened her from one of her increasingly frequent naps. 

"It's time we had . . . a talk," Nadesico said carefully. She was still floating a few inches above the coffee table. 

Sakura rubbed her eyes again. "Mom?" 

"Yes, dear," Nadesico agreed patiently. 

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" Sakura was now fairly certain that she was still asleep, though she wasn't quite sure how her dream segued from the penguins to her dead mother. 

"I _am_ dead, Sakura-chan," Nadesico replied. "Why don't you sit down next to your father there. We have something to tell you." 

It took about twenty minutes for Nadesico to explain what was happening. Syaoran, Touya, and Tomoyo occasionally added their own comments. Sakura decided that this was definitely one of the strangest dreams she'd ever had. 

"So I'm some magical girl, in hiding?" Sakura summarized. At her mother's nod, Sakura beamed. "Cool!" 

Nadesico frowned slightly. "Do you really understand what we just told you?" 

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Sakura decided to sit back and enjoy the weirdness as it unfolded. She hoped she'd have other dreams as freaky-weird as this one. 

Nadesico pursed her lips, then exchanged a weary look with Tomoyo. 

"I don't think she really understands, Nadesico-san," Tomoyo said softly. "How about you just go ahead and pull the shields off?" 

"Good idea, dear," nodded Nadesico. She turned to her son. "Touya-kun, please help me here . . ." 

Touya rose to his feet and walked over to where Sakura was sitting, yawning. "Close your eyes, kaijuu," he said cheerily. 

Sakura closed her eyes obediently, but not after muttering, "I'm not a monster." 

To Tomoyo's eyes, nothing happened, but everyone else seemed to see something. Nadesico's ghost wavered in the air, like rising steam, and Touya would have fallen down onto the coffee table had Yukito not been there to catch him. Both Fujitaka and Sonomi were staring wide-eyed at Sakura, who looked just the same to Tomoyo. 

"Er . . . what the hell did you do to me?" Sakura asked politely. She was staring at her own hand in bemusement, occasionally wiggling her fingers as though to make sure it actually _was_ her hand. 

Nadesico paused in her exhausted wavering to give her daughter a worried stare. "You don't remember?" 

"Huh?" asked Sakura, still staring at her hand. 

"Why didn't her memories come back?" Syaoran demanded, jumping to his feet and brandishing his sword. He looked ready to fight, but it wasn't clear _who_ it was that he wanted to attack. He alternated between throwing soulful glances as the vaguely-smiling Sakura and glaring belligerently at the rest of the room. 

Nadesico looked horrified. "I don't know!" she said, almost frantic. 

"I do!" caroled a tiny voice, high above the assembled family. 

As one, they looked up to find Kero-chan hovering in place just below the ceiling fan. 

"Kerberos!" Nadesico exclaimed in surprise. "What are you talking about?" 

"I know why her memories didn't come back," Kero-chan reiterated. He looked very pleased with himself 

"You did this, didn't you?" accused Syaoran, waving his sword around in the air. "Come down here so I can wallop you, you stupid little plushie!" 

Kero-chan giggled. "I may be a 'stupid little plushie,' but I'm _not_ stupid enough to go down there within reach of your sword, brat!" 

Meanwhile, Sakura had hear head tilted back so she could watch the little creature hovering above her. "Damn, this is a wild dream!" she exclaimed happily. 

"What did you do to my daughter?" demanded Fujitaka in a terrible voice. 

"Nothing she didn't ask for, Kinomoto-san," Kero replied cheerily. "Remember, she _asked_ to be sealed, all those years ago." 

"But we just broke the seals!" Touya called, torn between exhaustion and worry for his sister. 

"You broke what I allowed you to break, you idiot," Kero snapped. "The shields were _mine_, and if I decide return her power, but not her memories, then that's my decision." 

"Oh, so _that's_ why I'm glowing," Sakura interrupted, staring at her hand once more. "I've never dreamed about glowing before . . ." 

"Why would you do such a thing to the Card Mistress?" Yukito asked in a strange voice. Tomoyo glanced at him and suddenly realized that Yukito had been replaced by Yue. 

"It's all your fault!" Kero shrieked at the people below him. "I wasn't invited!" 

There were many blank stares. 

"What?" Sonomi finally asked, voicing everyone's unspoken question. 

"You people didn't invite me to Sakura's unsealing!" Kero repeated. 

"Oops," Nadesico murmured. "I forgot." 

"You _forgot_ about me?!" Kero was trembling with rage. 

"Sorry," Nadesico said sincerely. 

At this point, Sakura had lost interest in the argument and was watching, wide-eyed as she waved her hands in the air. "Hey!" she said, tugging on the sleeve of Tomoyo's leather jacket. "Watch this, Tomoyo-chan!" Then with a vague, shooing gesture of her hand, Sakura sent an enormous ball of pure energy pulsing toward the front door. The front door disintegrated, along with a good portion of the wall. "Cool, eh?" 

Fujitaka began to cry. "My house!" he wailed, leaning against Sonomi for support. 

"There, there," Sonomi murmured, patting Fujitaka comfortingly on the shoulder. 

"Stop that at once, Sakura-chan!" Nadesico ordered, floating over to fix her errant daughter with a stern stare. 

"Aww, but Mom!" Sakura complained. 

"None of that, dear," Nadesico said firmly. "And no fireballs inside the house. Do you understand, young lady?" 

"Yes, Mom," Sakura replied sulkily. Then she turned to Tomoyo with an impish little grin. "But wasn't that pretty neat?" 

Tomoyo was staring at her in horror. 

"Okay, I think it's time to end this farce," came a deep voice from the vicinity of the television. Everyone stared at the screen, which was suddenly filled with static. 

Then, before everyone's eyes, a human figure pushed its way out of the TV screen. After finally climbing out, and brushing a little static off of his magician's robes, Eriol, age seventeen (give or take a few centuries) beamed at the assembly and pounded the floor with the butt of his staff. "Aren't you going to greet me?" he asked plaintively. 

Kero-chan was the first to respond. He bolted for the place where the front door used to be, hoping to escape before his plan went further awry. Unfortunately, his panic overshadowed his normally acute magical senses, and he completely missed noticing the magical barrier set up in place of the door. The tiny creature slammed into the barrier at top speed, then slid limply to the floor. 

"He should start watching where he's going," Eriol commented blandly. 

Sakura was the next to respond. She clasped her hands under her chin, her eyes sparkling. "A clown!" she exclaimed, looking at Eriol. "What a wonderful outfit!" 

"A clown?" Eriol looked faintly wounded. "I'm not a clown, I'm a magician." 

"Same difference," muttered Syaoran. 

"Clow-san?" Yue spoke up hesitantly, taking a few steps closer to the boy. There was a sort of muffled adoration in the winged creature's eyes. 

"Not exactly, Yue," Eriol explained. "Don't worry about it, old chap. You'll have better luck with Touya-kun there anyway." 

Yue looked vaguely disappointed. 

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" Nadesico asked grumpily. She rather liked being in charge, and didn't take kindly to Eriol's intrusion. 

"I'm here to give Sakura-chan her memories back before she blows another hole in your house, madam," he replied smoothly. 

And so it was that the Mistress of the Clow Cards regained her memories and powers in the space of about a few minutes, thanks to Kerberos' shortsightedness and Eriol's heroic efforts. Upon regaining her memories, Sakura promptly dragged Syaoran into the broom closet, ostensibly to "talk." They didn't reappear for over an hour. When they finally emerged from the closet, both looked rather mussed and Syaoran's shirt was buttoned crookedly. 

Sakura's parents watched this with bemused smiles on their faces, but it wasn't too many years until Syaoran and Sakura finally got married, and started producing children. Lots, and lots of children. Fujitaka was the best grandfather in the world, and the kids soon learned to love their beautiful, wise, dead grandmother. 

After recovering from his disappointment over Clow, Yue transformed back to Yukito, who decided that as much fun as Tomoyo had been, he still preferred Touya, and _only_ Touya. Touya agreed, and they went back to their apartment, where they spent the rest of their lives in a haze of fluffy contentment. They later adopted eight children, all of whom were perfect angels, and by CLAMP law, were each one prettier than Venus herself. 

Kerberos was taken into custody by Spinel and Nakuru, who used him to test out Nakuru's new recipes and Spinel's experimental cosmetics. Eriol periodically visited and mocked the Stupid Little Plushie. 

Tomoyo, for her part, was very disappointed when she lost her two playmates. She moped for all of about twenty minutes before latching onto Eriol, who was ten times the man Touya and Yukito had been (put together). She quickly moved in with Eriol, and they settled in to a delightful routine that consisted mainly of eating, sleeping, and wild bedroom romps. After a few years, Eriol decided to make an honest woman out of Tomoyo-chan, and the two were married. Then, complete with leather and piercings they continued their routine of eating, sleeping, and wild bedroom romps.   
  


**.: The End :.**   
  
  
  


Kit: [screaming at the top of her lungs] Eriol! Get your pretty little arse down here! Now!   
  


Eriol: [continues to hide in Kit's room, typing away on the computer]   
  


Tomoyo: You brought this upon yourself, Kit.   
  


Kit: Grrr. I'm going to throttle that boy. [gives Tomoyo a suspicious glance] Did you know about his little project? [waves manuscript]   
  


Tomoyo: A little. He was bored while waiting for the next chapter of 'A Cappella,' so he decided to add himself into 'Nadesico's Daughter' and finish up the story. I didn't see any real harm in it, so I didn't bug him about it. [peers over Kit's shoulder] So what did he write that's got you so steamed?   
  


Kit: You'd be steamed too if you read what he did with _you_ in the story . . .   
  


Tomoyo: [reads over manuscript]   
  


Kit: [mutters] I'm going to string him up by his toenails . . .   
  


Tomoyo: [screaming at the top of her lungs] Hiiragizawa-kun! Get your pretty little arse down here! Now!   
  


Eriol: [finally appearing] You called, madam?   
  


Tomoyo: [tackles Eriol to the ground and starts pounding his head against the tiled floor] You idiot! You turned me into some promiscuous little punk! In leather!   
  


Eriol: [gives Tomoyo his most innocent, wide-eyed stare] You mean, you don't like leather?   
  


Tomoyo: [pauses to think it over] Well, maybe, but that's not the point!   
  


Eriol: You don't like the idea of eating, sleeping, and wild bedroom romps?   
  


Tomoyo: That's not the point either! [continues to bang Eriol's head against the floor]   
  


Kit: Uh . . . I'll just leave you two alone . . .   
  
  
  


**Happy April Fools Day!**

**(Ha! And you thought I'd actually finish the story that quickly!?)**   
  
  
  


[2/24/02 -- This was written for April Fools Day, 2001. I felt bad that I hadn't posted any updates to Nadesico's Daughter for a long, long time, so I decided to screw with people's minds and post this. Teehee. But no worries. This isn't the end of ND. Not even close.]  
  



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